Thursday, May 22, 2014

We've all seen these shooters !

Just read on Facebook the other day how the social networking site has suddenly turned into a magazine – poets, writers and photographers after every few posts. While it is a great thing to share your creativity with everyone, some people just do not know where to stop. For instance, budding photographers who, no matter their age or location, always do these 11 annoying things on Facebook.

1.Tag 50 people in one photo to get likes and comments.

So you get a notification about being tagged in your friend’s photo – and you click on it to find dozens of other people being tagged in it too, which is essentially some random shot of a bird or flowers or something equally lame. You give one sympathy like, untag yourself and move on. This is a warning sign that your friend is going to go into the amateur photographer mode soon.

2.Create a “XYZ Photography” page on Facebook.

The most common annoying thing photographers on Facebook do is to create a photography page in their own name on Facebook. Even if they had probably just started out fresh and taken up the art as a hobby. With 50 average pictures in their computer to boast of. Sigh! Or they stand in a room full of people and can't stop shutter bugging, literally by taking a rapid fire barrage approach of 10 pics and just maybe their hoping for 1 decent one of each person.

3.Hound every person they know to like the page.

This is the most annoying part of having an amateur photographer for a friend. It does not matter if you guys have not spoken in years, they are going to pop up on your chat and be like, “Hey! What’s up? Please like my page “Douchebag Photography”… thanks! : - )” And they are not going to rest till you do it. So just get it done and over with!

4.Hound every person they know to tell their friends to like the page.

The next level of douchebaggery comes with them getting in touch with you once again. You’ve already ‘liked’ their page, but no – that’s not enough. Could you also please-pretty-please spread the word to the people in your friend list too? Of course, why not? Why don’t you effing pay me a salary for being your public relations officer?

5.Create a fancy watermark and post it on every picture.

Because they are so effing brilliant, magazines and other photographers are dying to get their hands on these works of art. At least that’s what these shutterbugs think. How to avoid such theft? Put more effort into creating a watermark than they do in mastering their photography skills – and paste them on every effing photo. The least it does is give these poor souls a sense of achievement.

6.Upload at least one ‘artistic’ selfie for a profile picture.

Every wannabe photographer has at least one profile picture they have taken of themselves – a DSLR selfie, if you must. This is to do two things – one, show the world that they have a fancy camera, and secondly, show the world that they can use it to take their own pictures too!

7.Think that pictures of poor/old people in black and white are the epitome of great photography.

Amateur Photography Lesson 101: If you have not taken high contrast photos of tired, wrinkled and depressed old/poor people in black and white, you have not done anything worthwhile with your expensive camera. Every wannabe shutterbug will have at least one photo of such a subject in their extensive albums.

8.Think that macro is just the bee’s knees. Literally.

Amateur Photography Lesson 102: Macro the shit out of all the bugs in and around your location. Butterflies, caterpillars, bees – any and every insect become subjects of this budding lensman’s camera. If bugs could talk, they’d probably be saying…

9.Edit the shit out of the simplest pictures.

Amateur Photography Lesson 103: Take a picture, Photoshop it till it barely looks like the original and take all the credit for some amazing photography skills. What is up with THAT? They really need to calm down and go easy with the editing tools.

10.Overthink their captions.

So you take a picture of a line of ants scurrying away – and give a 300 word exposition on hard work and discipline as the caption? Really? They are ants – taking their food back to their anthill. That’s it. Don’t overthink it – it comes off as incredibly pretentious, dude.

11.   Flood your newsfeed with pictures.

Remember #2 and #3? This will lead to a chain reaction – and before you know it, your newsfeed is flooded with photos of the aforementioned “Douchebag Photography” that you were not even interested in to begin with. Open your Facebook and you are like –

The remedy? Unlike their page, unfriend them, block them – or do something more permanent than that… to their precious camera.